People online aren't always as they appear

People looking for romance are hoping to be swept off their feet, not caught up in a scam. But according to the FTC, reports of these online romance scams have nearly tripled in the past years — in 2020 alone victims lost around $304 million from being swindled by their cyber sweetheart.

Romance scammers lure people with phony online profiles, often lifting photos from the web to create attractive and convincing personas. They might make up names or assume the identities of real people. Reports indicate the scammers are active on dating apps, but also on social media sites that aren’t generally used for dating, such as Facebook or Instagram. 

How do online romance scams work?

Once these fraudsters have people by the heartstrings, they say they need money, often for a medical emergency, or some other misfortune. They often claim to be in the military and stationed abroad, which explains why they can’t meet in person. Pretending to need help with travel costs for a long-awaited visit is another common ruse.

Scammers can reap large rewards for time spent courting their targets. The median individual loss to a romance scam reported in 2018 was $2,600, about seven times higher than the median loss across all other fraud types.

Common Red Flags

How can you identify a scammer? Well, you probably have a sense of what's considered normal behavior online. But it might be hard to see through an online dating scam when emotions are involved.

If you want to know how to tell if someone is scamming you online, here are some telltale signs a cybercriminal may be the one sweeping you off your feet:

• Requests for money for urgent matters, such as medical expenses or a plane ticket.

• Money requests by immediate and un-reversible means, such as wire transfers or pre-loaded gift cards.

• The person claims to live far away, such as on an oil rig, overseas, or be in the military.

• The relationship is moving very fast.

• They break promises to see you in person.

• There’s pressure to move the conversation off the platform to a different site or text app.

10 tips to avoid romance scammers and protect yourself:

1. Pay attention to red flags. Simply knowing how a romance scammer operates can help you identify and avoid one.

2. Evaluate your online presence. Be careful what you share on social media and consider setting your social media profiles to “private.”

3. Approach relationships slowly. Take new relationships slowly, vet your new companions thoroughly, and be wary if answers don’t add up.

4. Set up a phone or video chat early. If they dodge the opportunity, they may be a scammer.

5. Do your own snooping. Do a reverse image search of the potential scammer’s profile picture. You may see that image belongs to a completely different person.

6. Outsource their asks for help. Especially if they are overseas, refer them to a U.S. consulate or embassy if they ask for help or money.

7. Ask someone you trust for a second opinion. They may see some warning signs you didn’t.

8. Stop communicating and report the incident. If you’re suspicious or sure that you’re being scammed, cut off communication immediately and report the activity. Always consider the possibility of it being a scam, even if you contacted them first.

9. Don’t send compromising pictures or video. These could be used as blackmail later.

10. Never pay or accept money from someone you haven’t met. Don’t give out your financial or personal information, top off a cash reload card, or send gifts or money to someone you haven’t met face to face. Never wire money to a stranger or pay anyone with gift cards.

Online dating scams can often end with victims losing money and, in some cases, even being pulled into criminal activity. Besides the financial costs, there may be emotional costs, too. You may feel heartbroken, depressed, or embarrassed after someone you trusted scammed you.

That's why it's important to know how to outsmart a romance scammer and how to act fast if you think you’ve been scammed. Help stop these scammers by reporting suspicious profiles or messages to the dating or social media site.

Source: ftc.gov, staysafeonline.org